A while back, Garett of The Sports Chief ranked his favorite episodes of The Office in order by season and I recently had the idea to do it for my favorite TV show, King of the Hill. This show is one that I can sit down and watch at any time, no matter the mood. I don’t have a count of how many times I have seen the series start to finish, but I would venture to say I’ve probably seen each episode, on average, about 10 times each. It is seriously a show that I will never get bored of. That’s the thing about the show though, no matter how many times you have seen it, it still draws you in. There’s something that keeps bringing you back. What is it? I think it’s the relatability aspect of it. Most animated shows are in another galaxy in terms of relatability, but King of the Hill gives you a show with themes that could pop up in anyone’s lives, for the most part.

With talks of a revival coming in the near future, I personally have mixed thoughts about it. I really liked the way that the show ended. Then again, if the same people are working on the show, I know it won’t be ruined. There’s no way to make the show any better and I guess that’s the main reason why I’m hung up on the idea of a revival. Never mind that though, that’s a talk for another time. We’re here to discuss the episodes ranked by myself in season one of the show. Ok, here’s the plan. I plan on doing a ranking like this for all 13 seasons of the show and I know this will be one of the toughest opinion articles that I have ever written. Like I said earlier, I have seen each episodes many times and I can’t personally tell you that they released one bad episode in 13 seasons. For those of you that have watched every episode, you know that the show has various subplots and even if the main storyline doesn’t interest you, the other subplot(s) can. I think that’s part of the reason why the show is so great. Also, they have some of the most creative episode titles. The majority of the titles are a play on words with famous movies, puns and other pop culture references that can describe the show. Enough of the intro though, let’s dive into the rankings and remember, this is solely my opinion. I have no ranking system or rating that indicates a better episode quality. This is just an opinion from a long-time fan of the show.

12. “Plastic White Female” Episode 12

King of the Hill is good about having a strong starting episode and ending episode for each season. Looking through the show’s 13 ending episodes, this may be my least favorite. The episode is a Bobby-centered show and those are usually very good, but this one didn’t really do it for me. Bobby is invited to Joseph’s birthday party, but it isn’t a normal party. It will be their first co-ed birthday party. Girls will be there, and Bobby is nervous. Peggy is reluctant to let him go, but Hank is all for it. Hank pressures him into it even though Bobby doesn’t really want to go. In the meantime, he needs some practice. Luanne receives a dummy head from the Beauty Academy to use for her hair styling final and Bobby decides to use the head as practice for being more comfortable with the opposite sex. His practice with the dummy head becomes an obsession and both Hank and Peggy are uncomfortable with it. Hank destroys the head after things go too far and is forced to be Luanne’s test subject. Bobby winds up going to the party and it turns out the other kids are as awkward as Bobby.

This wasn’t a bad episode, but they all can’t be the best. Something has to take the final spot, and this is it, in my opinion. I thought the highlight of the show was the Beach Boys song, “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”, playing in a video montage. I also thought Peggy was funny in this episode. We see the first appearance of recurring character, Miss Kremzer. She’s Luanne’s uptight beauty school professor and she is a real B-word. Hank even says so. This is also where we see signs of a blooming relationship between Bobby and Connie. They share their first kiss in this episode and it gives us a little insight of what to expect in the future. This is actually one of the higher rated episodes on IMDb, it’s tied for 3rd in Season 1. Again, it wasn’t bad, but it’s not one that I regularly watch if I’m watching randomly.

11. “Hank’s Got the Willies” Episode 4

When I decided to do a full re-watch in order each season, I looked at the episode list. I personally thought this was going to be in my Top 5. I’ve come to the realization that the episode wasn’t as good as the majority of season. I think that speaks for how good Season 1 was. This is sort of a dual-focused episode between Hank and Bobby, oh and Willie Nelson. Peggy is the focus of the subplot. Bobby is acting like a normal, weird 11/12-year-old, but obviously Hank has trouble coming to grips with his “growing pains”. That’s really the gist of it, but obviously there’s more to it. Hank is trying to find a good role model for Bobby and tries to help him realize his goals. With the help of Willie Nelson, he comes to the realization that he is actually Bobby’s role model.

I’ve always liked this episode because of the fact that Willie Nelson made an appearance. He was the first special guest and I always thought that was cool. With that being said, I have never understood why Willie Nelson is Hank’s role model. I get that they’re both Texans and this was likely just a way to write Nelson into the story, but other than the guitar and golfing, they have very little in common. Nelson is probably most notorious for his marijuana advocacy and Hank despises any sort of illegal activity. It doesn’t ruin the quality of the episode though. What I think is the funniest moment of the episode was when Bill is swinging, and he asks Boomhauer if he has any tips for him. There are some funny moments in this show and we see some cool cameos. Dennis Hopper makes an appearance. Bob Dylan also makes an appearance, but it isn’t voiced by him. Former Gov. of Texas Ann Richards makes an appearance in the ending credits but doesn’t have a speaking role, although she will later make an appearance in season 5. Lyle Lovett also had a non-speaking appearance. This show was really good, but it didn’t live up to the quality of the rest of them. Peggy being jealous of a guitar isn’t really that intriguing and the Hank/Bobby storyline almost seemed like a filler, a good filler, but still a filler. At least Hank’s song, “Peg-a-leg”, is a jam.

10. “Hank’s Unmentionable Problem” Episode 6

This was another episode that I thought I would rank higher. It is an awkward Hank episode and a hilarious one at that, but from a quality standpoint, I couldn’t rank it too high. The episode is one of the rare instances where there’s really only one storyline. It all revolves around Hank and his battle with constipation. Hank isn’t using the restroom regularly and everyone is very comfortable talking about it except Hank. He would prefer that nobody say anything and let him deal with it alone, but ultimately everybody wants what is best for him. The episode ends in triumph as Hank successful has a bowel movement. No, I’m not kidding, but it’s not as stupid as it sounds.

I have always loved this episode, because I tend to enjoy a little awkward humor. Hank is uncomfortable for about 95% of this episode and understandably so. I wouldn’t want people talking about my bathroom business for days on end. Everybody that knew him, and even some people that didn’t, knew he was constipated. My favorite moment of the show is when Hank is asked by the nurse to take off his pants and he’s alone in the room with Peggy. He’s in his boxers and awkwardly tells Peggy about the cotton balls sitting on the counter. It’s such a little touch, but it’s hilarious. Also, Bobby roaming the halls opening each patient door is wild. How did nobody stop him? He also caused an unexpected birth in an elevator. It’s crazy how nonchalant the employees at the doctor were. Anyway, it was a hilarious episode, but I don’t think I could rank it too high because of the topic matter. I mean the main focus is Hank’s poop or actual lack thereof. A very solid episode, poop joke not intended.

9. “Luanne’s Saga” Episode 5

I thought this was going to be one my lower ranked episodes and after re-watching it, I think this is the right spot. Luanne is the main focus of the show, but more specifically her relationship with her Uncle Hank. Hank is tired of Luanne living in his house, but Luanne let’s Hank know that her boyfriend Buckley is probably going to ask her to move in with him at any moment. Little does she know, he actually wants to break up with her. Luanne sobs uncontrollably for days and seemingly Peggy, is the only one empathizing with her. Peggy wants Hank to spend more time with her and encourage her. He teaches Luanne a different way to cope with the breakup and Luanne seems “fixed”. While trying to find a guy to set Luanne up with, Hank finds the “perfect” guy for Luanne, well, his idea of the perfect guy for her. Wade is his name and he’s a football player. He loves his mama, propane, and runs the 40 in under 5 seconds. Hank finds out Wade didn’t bring her home and is distraught when he finds out that Boomhauer was the one to bring her back. Hank gets into an argument with Luanne and tells her to move in with Boomhauer. Boomhauer isn’t actually interested in Luanne, but that’s not what Hank believes.

This was a great way to familiarize us with Luanne. I would like this episode a lot more, but Luanne’s crying was very annoying to me. Other than that, it’s a wonderful episode. Luanne is one of the most beloved characters on the show and rightfully so, but something about her crying in this particular episode was like nails on a chalkboard. I liked the contrast between Peggy and Hank’s methods of dealing with Luanne’s pitiful state and it showed they both wanted what was best for her. This wasn’t Buckley’s first appearance in the show, but it was his first time being introduced as Luanne’s boyfriend. It was funny seeing the guys getting angry at him for driving his motorcycle in Hank’s yard, especially Bill yelling. This episode could’ve been better, but it is actually really decent. Toby from The Office did a good job writing this episode. It was his first writing credit on the show.

8. “Westie Side Story” Episode 7

And here we have the introduction of the Souphanousinphone family. Hank and the guys are out in the alley and they notice some new neighbors moving in, but they’re in for a real culture shock. The new neighbors are Laotian and they’re having a really tough time understanding that Laos is a country. To welcome the new neighbors, Peggy invites Kahn, Minh and Connie over for dinner. They clearly don’t mesh initially, and things get off to a horrible start. Minh feels bad about this later on and invites the Hills to a barbecue. To make a long story short, everyone attends the barbecue and the conspiracy nut, Dale seems to believe they were served dog after both of the dogs go missing. Hank and Kahn get in a heated argument, the dogs return to their homes and they find common ground in their punishment of their children.

The Souphanousinphones were a great addition to the show and this was their first appearance. There were a lot of interactive stories going on here. Hank and Khan, Minh and Peggy, and Connie and Bobby all had separate stories. The abrasiveness of the new neighbors creates a great rift between the Hills and despite it all, the kids are getting along right away. We don’t really see any real indication of a possible relationship yet with Connie and Bobby, but they are definitely going to be friends. This episode is full of backhanded insults. Not only do we see the Rainey Street residents ignorance of Asian culture, but the Souphanousinphones are just as ignorant about Texas culture. It’s a simple story, but a good one. You also may have drawn a comparison to the title of the show. West Side Story is a classic movie about culture clash and the Souphanousinphone’s dog is a West Highland Terrier, or a Westie for short. A clever title for a good show.

7. “Square Peg” Episode 2

After the Pilot episode, if you thought to yourself, I think I may like King of the Hill, but it’s not quite awkward enough, they met your request right out of the gate. Episode 2 of the show is possibly the most awkward of the whole series. We get a better look at Peggy and her substitute teaching career. Bobby needs permission slip signed by both of his parents. The permission slip is for a sex education course. Peggy and Hank do not think Bobby should attend because they think that parents should be the ones to teach children about sex ed, but neither are comfortable with the subject matter. When they attempt to talk to Bobby about sex they’re stricken by their own shock and aren’t successful. The teacher who was supposed to lead the sex ed course is threatened by a mysterious caller and they tasked none other than Peggy Hill to lead the course. As Peggy prepares to teach the class, she is distraught at the things that she will have to say. Since Peggy is now tasked with this, she obviously agrees to sign Bobby’s permission slip, Hank does not though. Bobby goes to Strickland Propane for the day to avoid taking the course, but Hank changes his mind and decides that it’s best for Bobby to be at school.

Some fans may say this is ranked too low and they may have a point. This was the show’s first Primetime Emmy nomination. It is a great episode and it adds layers for all of the main characters and is an all-time awkward KOTH episode. Peggy gets a lot of heat for being a horrible character, but I’ve never understood that. I think she’s great in her own way. Watching her struggle to be comfortable with sex-related topics was hilarious, especially her trying to utter the proper word for the male genitalia with the word, “happiness”.” Hap-piness”. We also get the all-time classic Bobby quote, “I’m a little worried about being a slut.” Dale being the mystery caller who threatened the sex ed teacher and then trying to threaten Peggy was hilarious as well. Peggy wasn’t Substitute Teacher of the Year 1996 for no reason.

6. “The Order of the Straight Arrow” Episode 3

This is really the first episode where we see an extended look at Hank’s best friends. Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer venture out into the woods and lead a pack of kids from The Order of the Straight Arrow. The guys ask John Redcorn to teach them some “cool Indian stuff” for the trip and Redcorn warns them that those things are sacred and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Of course, they disregard that. They arrive at the campsite and are surrounded by environmental activists. They send the troops out to hunt the snipe and obviously it isn’t real, but Bobby somehow “gets” one. It turns out he killed a whooping crane, an endangered bird. The subplot is centered around Peggy going to Lubbock to buy shoes. Here’s where we first realize that she has abnormally large feet. Park rangers are chasing down the troop after the activists tattle on them. As they are caught, they find out that the bird was not killed, but simply knocked unconscious.

I love this episode for a few reasons. One being the fact that there was a really good flashback from when the guys were kids. Those are always interesting. It was the first time that we get a look at Cotton, it was brief, but it gave us a little idea of what to expect later in the season. This was the first time that John Redcorn spoke also. We knew of him in the Pilot, but this was a nice formal intro for him. Redcorn was voiced by Victor Aaron but was no longer used in the rest of the series after Season 1 due to his sudden passing. It was also the first appearance of Randy and Eustice, or as Dale calls him “useless”. One of the troops named Garth was only mentioned one time during the series and never had a speaking part. Fans of the show seem to believe that he was an illegitimate child of Boomhauer, but that was never revealed. This is also the first instance where we find out that Bill is unhappily divorced. I ranked this episode at 6 because of the interaction between all of the main characters. Peggy is doing her own thing and the guys and the troops are having a good time. The only missing piece is Luanne. It was a great show that added layers to most of the characters.

5. “King of the Ant Hill” Episode 11

We’re finally to the Top 5 and I don’t understand why this episode didn’t end the first season. It would’ve been a perfect ending. Hank clearly takes pride in his lawn and after realizing that he may not have the best lawn in the neighborhood, he has to reassess his lawn care methods. Peggy points out that Dale’s weekly spraying is likely the main culprit. Hank installs new sod for his Cinco de Mayo block party and Hank informs Dale that his services are no longer needed. Dale plots to sabotage his lawn and plants fire ants in the new grass. Hank tries a couple different tactics to rid the lawn of the ants, but nothing is working, because Dale is still sabotaging the lawn. Dale is then tasked to spray the lawn for ants, and kills Hank’s grass. Hank doesn’t know what to do anymore and is a complete wreck. The subplot is Bobby getting hypnotized by the queen ant and it will intersect with the main story. After noticing that they’re out of sugar, Peggy goes next door to the Gribbles to see if they have any. There she finds Dale’s fire ant plot plans. After realizing Bobby is covered in fire ants, Hank’s anger quickly turns to concern after Dale receives hundreds of ant bites.

If you’ve never seen this episode, reading the description sounds a little wacky, but it is great. The subplot is definitely not realistic, but other than that, I think it’s a perfect episode. Hank regretted having to tell his friend that he doesn’t want his lawn sprayed and Dale acted spitefully, obviously because that’s his character. We know that Hank has a few hobbies at this point, but his lawn is his most prized possession. Just don’t tell his guitar, Betsy. Something as simple as grass can mean so much to a man and when that is taken away, his dreams are crushed. This was the case for Hank and the fact that it is in the middle of spring makes it that much harder on Hank. Despite the revenge from Dale, he proves that he’s not completely evil by offering to save Bobby from harm. We see more and more added layers and we’ll continue to see those even in the next season. Perhaps I dove a little too deep here, but the story is simple. A man and his lawn and the pride that he has in it is all you need to know here, because that is the story that is told.

4. “Peggy the Boggle Champ” Episode 9

I may get some heat for this one, but I think this Peggy episode is Top 5 for Season 1. Peggy becomes somewhat of a local sensation for playing Boggle and earns the opportunity to go to the Texas State Boggle Championship. There’s only one problem, Hank and the guys want to go the Dallas Mower Expo held at the same area and Hank is conflicted and doesn’t know whether to hang out with his friends or to be supportive of his wife. He initially joins Peggy and agrees to become her Boggle coach. Peggy doesn’t get off to a great start in the tournament and Hank then decides to ditch her for the Mower Expo. Bill, Dale and Boomhauer are enjoying themselves at the Mower show, but Hank is definitely not enjoying it as much as he should be. He decides to go back and support Peggy. Little does he know that Peggy was on a tremendous run and made it all the way to the finals to face her episode rival, Cissy Cobb. Hank returns to be her coach at the precise moment when she needed him, and it was just the boost she needed.

Peggy episodes are some of the most hated by fans of the show, but like I said before, I don’t quite understand the hate for Peggy. She’s over confident on purpose. Anyway, the subplot is the best part of the episode and I think it was enough to carry the show. Not only that, but the subplot perfectly lines up with the main story. Hank and the guys getting fired up at the Lawn Expo is wonderful. Especially, Boomhauer on that mowing simulator. “Somebody pick up that dang ol’ rock.” Despite Peggy’s constant attempts to hold herself in a higher regard than everyone, this was a rare instance where she was humbled. She got too cocky in her Boggle skills and went into a little slump. Cissy Cobb makes Peggy very likeable and thank goodness Cobb didn’t make any more appearances in the show, I don’t think I could stand another one of those laughs. I have always really enjoyed this episode and I may look back and think it’s a little high, but for now, it’s 4th best of Season 1.

3. “Shins of the Father” Episode 8

And here we finally get the first real look at Hank’s father, Cotton Hill. What a character he is. After getting invited to Bobby’s birthday party, Cotton has to make a grand entrance and does so with a rented horse. Cotton gets Bobby a 20-gauge shotgun for his birthday, but Peggy takes it from Bobby. Throughout the whole episode Cotton does things to make all of the women upset, especially Peggy or as Cotton calls her, “Hank’s Wife”. During his stay, Cotton teaches Bobby some bad habits, especially how to treat women. Hank doesn’t want to stand up to his father but realizes that he must do it for Bobby’s sake.

This is a simplified explanation of the episode, but that’s really all that it amounts to. It’s a simple story, but there are many, many intricacies in the show that make it great. Throughout the series, they featured Cotton the perfect amount I feel like. He wasn’t over-featured, but an eccentric character like him doesn’t need to be a main character. In this particular episode, the main focus was with Cotton and his relationship with Bobby and Hank. Although Hank and Cotton aren’t on great terms, Cotton loves Bobby unconditionally. Hank and Peggy realized that Cotton shouldn’t be his mentor, but he should have a part in his life. With all of that being said, Cotton is a WW2 vet who lost his shins in war. He should be respected but isn’t someone that should be giving too much life advice. He’s a terrible person, but for show purposes, he’s arguably the most entertaining character on the show. There many hilarious moments of the show, but I think the most hilarious part was where the guys are telling Cotton that Kahn is Japanese and Cotton replies, “No, he ain’t. He’s Laotian. Ain’t ya Mister Kahn?” and then Kahn is baffled. This is an all-time great character introduction and is in my Top 3 for the season.

2. “Keeping Up with Our Joneses” Episode 10

I thought this was going to be my number one out of the gate and I think I will regret it later. This is definitely one of my favorite episodes from the whole series. It mainly features everyone inside the Hill home. Luanne is in a predicament with Ladybird eating her “makeups”. And Bobby has discovered the world of cigarette smoking. Hank catches Bobby and Joseph ripping a cig in Strickland Propane’s restroom and are punished by both fathers, however, their approaches of punishment are completely different. Hank forces Bobby to smoke a whole carton of cigarettes and Dale wants Joseph to educate himself with facts from the government and the tobacco industry. While trying to teach Bobby a lesson in smoking, Hank falls back into his nicotine addiction and drags Peggy back into it as well. Soon everyone is hooked on cigarettes except Luanne, who does everything in her power to get all of them to quit. A storm coincides with their inner battles to fight nicotine withdrawal.

This whole show is absolutely hilarious. It’s difficult to limit myself here, because there are a lot of funny parts. We discover that Hank and Peggy used to smoke, and both quit when Bobby was conceived and born and now that Bobby is getting a little bit adventurous, they fall back in the trap. With that being said, there was another great flashback montage between Hank and Peggy featuring Dionne Warwick’s “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again. The episode is filled with a bunch of irritable characters and it is wonderful chaos. The best line from the episode came from Peggy in my opinion. They find out that the last cigarette is gone, and Peggy is nowhere to be found. They find her in the closet trying to light up the cigarette. She says, “Close the damn door. Can’t you see I am knitting.” I lose it every time is see this part. While most episodes end with the ending theme’s guitar riff, it ended with a nice formal announcement from Boomhauer about the dangers of smoking. Maybe it’s just me, but I think Hank is a lot calmer while smoking. Maybe smoking is good for his health? This is an all-time great episode and is a must-watch for new viewers of the show.

1. ”Pilot” Episode 1

Like all shows ever to touch the airwaves. A pilot introduces the whole show and gives the audience things to look out for in the coming episodes. King of the Hill’s pilot episode hit a home run. The episode introduces all of the characters in one way or another, but mostly introduces us to the Hill family. Hank, Peggy and Bobby. Bobby is spotted around town with a black eye and Hank is notorious for his short temper. Rumors start to spread around Arlen that Hank abuses Bobby. CPS investigates the situation and a case worker from Los Angeles named Anthony is put on the case, aka “Twig Boy”. Anthony feels there is reason to take Bobby away and wants to advance the investigation, but his superior declines it, due to Anthony’s ill preparation. CPS informs the Hill home that the investigation is called off, but Bobby doesn’t relay the message to his parents. He spends the rest of the time making Hank’s life a living nightmare by taking advantage of the situation.

Most pilot episodes can be dull and are just informative rather than anything of substance. This captured the pure essence of the show and set the tone for the rest of the season and the series. It also showed the unique humor of each character in small doses. The show starts off with the guys gathered around Hank’s truck wondering what’s wrong with it and then they start talking about Seinfeld. If my memory was wiped away and I didn’t remember watching King of the Hill, I think I would be hooked for the entire series after that initial cold open. Also, Hank is very quotable in this episode. He has a lot of great lines and it sets the tone for the whole first season. One thing to note though, Hank still has a temper throughout the series, but it was a little exaggerated in this particular episode. I think they just wanted to make it pop a little more here because it was the pilot. If you’re a casual fan of the show, watching the pilot is a must. In today’s streaming age, it’s pretty common to watch things in order, but I think it’s still worth saying that. An incredible start for an incredible show. Well, now that I’ve ranked Season One, be on the lookout for my Season Two rankings in the near future.

Yacs

King of the Hill: Season 1 Episodes (Ranked)