I’ve been wanting to make this list for a while now, and with no sports to write about, I figured it was the perfect time to do so. I went through every minor league baseball team, wrote down the names I thought were ridiculous and hilarious, and then finalized a top-10 list. I had heard of some of these before, but others I was not aware of. And yes, these are all REAL NAMES. So, in order of hilariousness, here are my top 10:

10. El Paso Chihuahuas

MLB Affiliate: San Diego Padres

Class: Triple-A

Reason Behind the Name: El Paso is situated in the heart of the Chihuahuan Desert,which encompasses western Texas, along with northern Mexico and parts of New Mexico and Arizona.

Thoughts: I never would have guessed they were named after their geographical position rather than the funny looking dog. But even so, their logo is the funny looking dog so that is clearly what they embrace with the name. When I think of chihuahuas, I always think of the Taco Bell dog. Is that still a thing?

9. Columbia Fireflies

MLB Affiliate: New York Mets

Class: Single-A

Reason Behind the Name: Because of an article in the Columbia newspaper, The State, titled “Synchronized Fireflies Putting on a Show at Congaree National Park,” the team decided to name its new baseball team (as of 2016) after the little illuminating bugs.

Thoughts: There must not be anything going on in Columbia, South Carolina for this to be the reason they chose the name “Fireflies.” It’s like they just agreed to name the team after the first thing they read in the local paper. And get this…parts of their uniforms glow in the dark in tribute of the name!

8. Lansing Lugnuts

MLB Affiliate: Toronto Blue Jays

Class: Single-A

Reason Behind the Name: Home games are played at Cooley Law School Stadium (home of Western Michigan University), but it was previously known as Oldsmobile Park and was named after the General Motors division that used to be based there. In honor of the former GM division and upholding a naming rights deal with the law school, the Lugnuts were born in 1996.

Thoughts: I get wanting to honor General Motors since it’s a Michigan team, but out of all the vehicle-associated things they could have went with, they chose the Lugnuts?

7. Modesto Nuts

MLB Affiliate: Seattle Mariners

Class: Single-A Advanced

Reason Behind the Name: Simply enough, the name was chosen to reflect the many different types of nuts that are grown in the Modesto, California region.

Thoughts: This name is nuts!

6. Montgomery Biscuits

MLB Affiliate: Tampa Bay Rays

Class: Double-A

Reason Behind the Name: There’s not much to this one, except that the name was chosen from thousands of entries in a “name the team” contest because it sounded fun, quirky, and could be utilized for marketing opportunities like naming the team store the “Biscuit Basket.” Puns such as “hey butter, butter, butter” also appealed to the owners when selecting the name.

Thoughts: If I were to guess where a team with the name “Biscuits” were located, there’s no doubt I would choose the South. So, it makes perfect sense to me the team is located in Alabama. We love our biscuits in the South. But to name a baseball team “The Biscuits?” The best thing about it would be trying to get one of the free biscuit they shoot out of an air cannon during home games.

5. Amarillo Sod Poodles

MLB Affiliate: San Diego Padres

Class: Double-A

Reason Behind the Name: To give recognition to the large number of prairie dogs in West Texas, where the team is located.

Thoughts: Why not just name the team the Prairie Dogs? No doubt that is a way cooler name. But the branding firm wanted an “unusual and family friendly” name. I guess I never knew Prairie Dogs were not family friendly. But this is a brand new team, created in 2019, so that’s what you get with our culture these days. I know the tough, blue-collar people of Amarillo are embracing this name whole-heartedly and wearing Sod Poodle merchandise around town as much as possible.

4. Akron RubberDucks

MLB Affiliate: Cleveland Indians

Class: Double-A

Reason Behind the Name: The city of Akron has a deep history in the rubber industry, perhaps most well known for being the birthplace of Goodyear, Firestone, Goodrich, and General Tire. So, to uphold the city’s history, they chose the name “RubberDucks.”

Thoughts: That was a no brainer, right? With big time tire and rubber companies such as Goodyear and Firestone, the only way to go in regards to a nickname is rubber ducks. I mean c’mon. They might as well put a “ies” on the end of it and call them the RubberDuckies because that’s what instantly comes to everyone’s mind anyway.

3. Binghamton Rumble Ponies

MLB Affiliate: New York Mets

Class: Double-A

Reason Behind the Name: If you didn’t know (like me), Binghamton is part of what people call the “Triple Cities,” along with Endicott and Johnson City. And these Triple Cities are referred to as “The Carousel Capital of the World.” So, to honor that name, naturally the Rumble Ponies were born in 2016 to replace the Binghamton Mets.

Thoughts: It sounds like you let a kindergarten class name this team while the teacher taught the class a very valuable lesson in compromising. The 5-year old girls settled on “the ponies” while to make the 5-year old boys satisfied, they added the “rumble” portion to it. Boom, everyone’s happy. A true win-win.

2. Norwich Sea Unicorns

MLB Affiliate: Detroit Tigers

Class: Single-A Short Season

Reason Behind the Name: The team decided to do away with the classic Connecticut Tigers name and start a new brand for the 2020 season. With five finalist fan submission names, the Sea Unicorns won out. With it’s proximity to the sea, they are named after the Narwhal fish, who are nicknamed the “Unicorns of the Sea” for their unicorn-like appearance.

Thoughts: Before I looked it up, I thought it was the Norwich Sea (location) Unicorns (nickname) and that was going to be #1 on this list. But upon finding out that it’s the Sea Unicorns instead of just the Unicorns, I bumped them down a spot. The Narwhals would have been ok, but anything with the word “unicorn” in it just screams “little girl.” At least this is a short season ballclub because that name doesn’t deserve a full season.

1. Rocket City Trash Pandas

MLB Affiliate: Los Angeles Angels

Class: Double-A

Reason Behind the Name: Located in Madison, Alabama, the name is a reference to the area’s ties to the space industry and racoons (who supposedly have a lot of determination and ingenuity).

Thoughts: Where to begin? So, maybe I’m missing something, but how does the space industry and trash pandas have anything to do with each other? The logo shows a trash panda launching upward like a rocket ship, but that is all the connection I can make. And racoons to represent a city? Is that the best they can do down there in Madison, Alabama? Maybe they were all sitting at a table trying to think what best exemplified determination and ingenuity and agreed, “yep, definitely racoons.” And then to take it a step further and turn “racoons” into “trash pandas” is a wild move.

Garett

Top 10 Most Hilarious Minor League Baseball Team Names